which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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