i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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