I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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