addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
