OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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