the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Come see our sink grown plant.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
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