You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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