if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Terrible idea I love it
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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