You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
