i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
