did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
