I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
