Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
