if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
