You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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