Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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