Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
