You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
