You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
