Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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