Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
