also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
