By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
