Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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