have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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