my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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