love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
