quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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