I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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