i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
