I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
