I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
