you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
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I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
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You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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