He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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