I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
