seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize