I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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