Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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