Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
