That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I need a beard to bite.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
