I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
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The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
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Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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