You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
