i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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