Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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