I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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