i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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