nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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