Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
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