Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
