You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
