Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
