i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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