yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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