Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
its liver damage thursday
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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