So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize