Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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