I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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