Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
