I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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