she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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