Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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