Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
