Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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