I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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