So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
