Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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