I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
