oh god the rape fog is back!
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize