Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
