Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
