So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize