we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
