they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
